


This Was Supposed to Be Heaven

by GaiasGirl



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Infidelity, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:47:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiasGirl/pseuds/GaiasGirl
Summary: A foul-mouthed and angry FemShep is not particularly pleased to have been dragged back to life. No one asked Kady if she wanted to come back from the dead. Or lead a crew on yet ANOTHER suicide mission.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic doesn't mean I'm abandoning my DA fic, although I know it's been forEVER since I updated it. I just needed to work on something else for a bit.
> 
> I make zero promises as to how fast this will update, or how long or short it'll wind up being. I just needed to scratch this particular itch. I rearranged some of the events to suit my purposes but it should stay somewhat close to the events of canon for the most part.

Military training was the only reason Kady Shepard was still standing. Military training, and whatever pins, screws, braces and who knows what else Cerberus had shoved in her spine when they brought her back from the dead. Out of everyone from the original Normandy he had known her, known her. Should have known who she was, what she stood for. She stood, spine stiff, and focused on her breath. It was difficult to assume the ko’di. The ground was littered with bodies, she and her squad were covered with blood, toxins, and she shuddered to think of what else. She fought for it - seeking the calmness once again. A tear slid down her cheek. Somehow the sting of the salt water in the wounds that had not yet healed from when they dragged her back hurt more than the wrist she’d broken as she dove from the massive machine’s laser. Eventually it came, the still void that her first CO had taught her back when she was fresh from the gangs. Full of anger and violence, two titans battling within her as she fought against the world. The ko’di flickered as Kaiden’s back disappeared around the corner, but she waited another two breaths before tapping her omni-tool to open a commline back to the Normandy.  
  
“Joker? Send a shuttle to pick us up, I’ve had enough of this colony.”  
  
“Shuttle is already en-route, Commander. Doctor Chakwas and the medical team are standing by for your return.”  
  
She breathed a sigh of relief. When she had first met Jeff Moreau she had not known what to think. Over the course of her career she’d met many, many men who claimed to be the best. Boasted of extraordinary skill and utterly failed to deliver on every count. But Moreau, or Joker as he was more often called, had an actual confidence behind the bravado. And had shown again and again that he earned it. She’d been more relieved than she could express when she turned from her meeting with the Illusive Man to see Joker limping towards her. There was no one she’d rather trust with her ship than him. Although if she ever told him that he would smile that cocky grin of his and remind her that it was his ship, whatever her, or Cerberus might have to say about it.  
  
No one spoke to her on the shuttle back to the Normandy. These were not her friends. Not her crew. Miranda and Jacob were competent enough, but they were Cerberus. She held back a painful laugh as she realized the very thing Kaiden held against her was the very reason she was alone. Dr Chakwas tried to examine her, but Kady put the woman off, insisting she was fine.  
  
EDI’s artificial voice interrupted the argument. “Commander Shepard, The Illusive Man wishes to-”  
  
“The Illusive Man can fucking wait,” Kady growled. EDI started to protest but Kady cut her off again. “I am covered in… I don’t even want to think about it. He can bloody well wait.” The artificial intelligence must have been more intelligent than she thought because EDI did not reply as she left the shuttlebay and went up to her captain’s quarters.  
  
Even the pain as she peeled off her armor wasn’t enough to keep her thoughts at bay. Finding Kaiden had been her first priority when she’d woken up. She’d been stonewalled at every turn. He was more of a ghost than she was. The most she could get from Anderson had been “His mission is top secret.” Either he hadn’t gotten any of the messages she’d sent… or he didn’t care. Cradling her broken arm against her chest, she pulled open the drawers of her dresser with her foot, she was sure she had more medi-gel stashed up here. She cursed as she fell backwards onto the bed, her vision swam with stars and she struggled not to black out.  
  
“The case of medigel is underneath your bed.” EDI said.  
  
Kady’s eyes narrowed. She knew the Illusive Man had installed monitoring devices all over the ship but the blatant reminder was not particularly welcome. Nevertheless, the medi-gel was precisely where EDI said it was. “Thank you, EDI,” she ground out through clenched teeth as she applied the gel. It was cool, and immediately blunted most of the pain. “Thank you,” she said again, a little more sincerely.  
  
“You are welcome, Commander Shepard.”  
  
Resisting the urge to sink into the bed, the Cerberus bed was lightyears ahead of the military issue mattress that was in her SR-1 cabin, she managed to hobble over to the shower. When she was finished she ripped the bottom off of a dress uniform tunic and bound her wrist tightly. The pressure felt good and she sighed with relief. Leaving her long black hair loose down her back for the moment, she lowered herself into the lotus position on the floor and sought the stillness. The emotions and pain drifted away until she was one with the void. Each breath carried her self further away, her mind encompassing the ship, the stars, the galaxy.  
  
Later she sat on at the desk, flipping through the Dossiers that the Illusive Man had sent. She was to be given a lot of leeway on this mission, to do as she would, but apparently searching out and recruiting her original team was not an option. She was pleased to see that at least one of the candidates was a Salarian. Given Cerberus’ past she expected to have to fight for non-human members of the crew. He, and three of the others, was currently on Omega… an easy decision. She was wary about the bounty-hunter, but the other, this Archangel, was targeting high profile gang leaders… she was definitely interested.  
  
She tugged on the sleeve of her tunic before stepping out of the elevator and onto the deck of the CIC checking that it covered the makeshift brace. It wasn’t that she disliked Dr Chakwas, in fact she rather liked the older woman who had served on the SR-1. She just did not want to be fussed over. The pain of Kaiden’s reaction to her was too raw to let anyone poke at her. She would be fine. She’d healed from worse back on Earth, without the medi-gel. “Joker,” she called, looking down at the Galaxy Map, “Lay in a course for Omega.”  
  
“Commander?” It was Kelly’s voice instead of Joker’s and Kady had to look around at first, confused. “The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you in the briefing room.”  
  
“I’m aware. I want to go to Omega.”  
  
“I’m sorry Commander,” the small, large-eyed woman actually did sound sorry. “We are unable to plot a course until you speak with him.”  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kady nearly slammed a hand down on the railing, stopping moments before as she remembers her wrist. “EDI, get us to Omega.”  
  
“I am sorry, Commander Shepard. You must speak to the Illusive Man to regain access to the navigational controls.”  
  
Kady stormed off the bridge. Memories of when the Council had seized the Normandy SR-1 on the Citadel danced around the edges of her thoughts. She regretted that it was unlikely Captain Anderson was near enough to the Illusive Man to punch him and free the ship. The table in the briefing room had already sunk into the floor, now serving as a holographic platform. She stepped onto it with a scowl.  
  
“Shepard, good work on Horizon. The Collectors will think twice before attacking another human colony. The Collectors will be more careful now, but I think we can find another way to lure them in.”  
  
Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest, ignoring the pain. “Of. Fucking. Course. You had something to do with that. You’re the one that tipped off the Alliance too then?”  
  
He took a long drag of his cigarette before answering. “I released a few carefully disguised rumors, that you were alive, and working for Cerberus.”  
  
Kady bit back an angry retort about how she was most certainly NOT working for Cerberus, but managed to keep her tongue. She had to at least pretend to play a little nice if she wanted to get her ship back. “What’s your game?” she asked instead.  
“I suspected that the Collectors had some interest in you. Or people close to you. Now I know for certain.”  
  
So, he could find her old squad if and when it suited him. Pulling on the strings to make them dance into position. Yet another reason to keep this man at arm’s length. She didn’t trust them, any of them. She needed her own people. She wished desperately that Tali had been able to join them when they’d stumbled into each other on Freedom’s Progress. Tali, at least, had seemed pleased to see her. And she hoped she’d won good will with the Migrant Fleet by refusing Jacob’s suggestion to take the injured Quarian back to the Normandy. Tali had her own mission, one she couldn’t abandon, and Kady could respect that. Still… it would be nice to feel as if one of her squadmates was looking out for HER, not Cerberus’ best interests.  
  
“Was there anything else?” she said as the Illusive Man took another long drag of his cigarette. For all she wished she knew where to find the bastard, she was glad at least she didn’t have to be anywhere near the smoke. It hovered all around him, like a mist. When he shook his head she stepped off the platform without a word.  
  
“EDI, tell Joker to set a course for Omega. Chime my room an hour before we get there. And have someone come get my armor.” Moving forward was all she could do. She’d died. And apparently that wasn’t something people just got over.


	2. Chapter 2

Omega reminded her of home, which was an incredibly depressing thought. She was fairly certain if she’d not joined the Alliance she’d have wound up here - at least for a month or two before she wound up dead. Except in this version of her life, no one would care enough to bring her back. Kady rolled her shoulders, checking her guns one more time before straightening her back and walking towards the door to Afterlife, the club run by Omega’s defacto queen, Aria. EDI had suggested that the asari would have information on where to find the Professor and Archangel. 

Zaeed had been easy. The moment she stepped off the docking ramp she spotted the grizzled bounty hunter working his latest capture over. She ignored the disapproving noises from both Miranda and Jacob and welcomed him aboard. He would meet up with them aboard the Normandy once he’d delivered his prisoner. She had a feeling that the rest of her “Omega To Do List” was not going to go quite as smoothly. Two goons had intercepted her and her squad, informing them that their presence was requested.   
It irked her, being told to jump and expected to follow through. She was a fucking N7 and Council Spectre to boot. Was bad enough that the Illusive Man seemed determined to keep her on a leash, she wasn’t going to kiss the ring, or whatever else Aria had in store. She ignored the line of people waiting to get in, none of the bouncers batted any of their eyes as she pushed open the doors and entered the club. The music was loud, the relentless bass seemed to crash into her. Asari, and a few human women, danced on tables and poles, weaving through the patrons to deliver drinks. She spotted the “owner’s dais” at the back of the room. A platform elevated above the dance floor with heavily armed turians guarding the stairs.

“That’s close enough,” the tall asari said without turning around. Kady instantly disliked her even more than she had anticipated. She was like every crime boss back on earth. Arrogant, self-assured, and slimy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the batarian guards pull their pistols, Miranda and Jacob drew their weapons in response. 

Although her hand itched for her pistol, Kady held her ground. “I was told you were the person to come to for answers,” her tone ignored the fact that there was an assault rifle pointed at her head. 

Aria didn’t respond immediately, letting the situation escalate before tossing her head to the side. The guards lowered their guns; but, Kady noticed, they did not holster them. The asari turned around, her expression smug. “Depends on the questions,” she said. “Omega has no titled ruler, just me. And I have one simple rule,” she sat down on the couch, spreading her arms on the backrest and crossing her legs. “Don’t. Fuck. With. Aria.”

It took every ounce of discipline Kady possessed not to roll her eyes at the posturing. She willed herself not to rise to the bait. “Simple,” she managed. Briefly, she wondered just how much trouble she’d get into with the Illusive Man if she put a bullet between the bitch’s eyes. But she didn’t trust the bastard enough to hand control of a station like Omega over to him and Cerberus. Get what you need and get the fuck outta here she said to herself as she sat down. She ignored the way Aria’s painted eyebrows raised as she settled into the couch. It would seem not many people dared sit in Aria’s presence.

“So, what can I do for you?”

Space yourself out the nearest airlock? “Looking for a doctor named Mordin Solus, do you know where I can find him?”

“The Salarian? Last I heard he was down in the quarantine zone trying to help plague victims.” She paused, “I always liked Mordin. He’s as likely to heal you as he is to shoot you. Former Salarian Task Group. Brilliant. Deadly. Just don’t get him talking, he never shuts up.”

Kady worked hard to keep her face neutral. Given how much Aria seemed to like the sound of her own voice, never shuts up could mean the doctor said more than two words together. “I’m also trying to track down Archangel.”

“You and half of Omega.”

“What’d he do?”

“He thinks he’s fighting the good fight. Everything he does pisses someone off. It’s catching up to him.”

Kady smirked, “Just the kind of guy I’m looking for.”

Aria eyed Kady up and down, “You’d be perfect for each other. You’re gonna make some enemies, teaming up with Archangel. That’s assuming you can even get to him. He’s… in a bit of trouble right now.”

“Oh?”

“Every merc group on Omega has teamed up to take him down. They’ve got him cornered, but it sounds like they’re having trouble finishing him off. Word is, they’re hiring anyone with a gun to help take him down. Recruiter’s right over there, you could probably talk him into signing you up.”

Kady glanced over at the small room Aria gestured too, just off the main dance stage. It was tempting to stay, get more information about this Archangel, whoever he was. But it sounded like time was of the essence, and if she had to put up with Aria’s posturing for another minute things were liable to get ugly fast. “Thanks,” she said curtly.

“Don’t bring the plague back with you,” Aria called as Kady made her way down from the platform.

She tapped her comms “EDI, is Zaeed aboard the Normandy?”

“Yes Commander Shepard. He has appropriated the Starboard Cargohold on the Engineering Deck. I have had crewmen remove all sensitive materials and store them elsewhere.”

“Tell him to suit up and meet me at Afterlife.” Kady closed off the comms and eyed both Miranda and Jacob up and down. Neither one looked like a mercenary. Miranda looked like a Cerberus Cheerleader Barbie, and Jacob still had the clean-cut Alliance soldier look to him. She frowned. “Both of you, back to the ship.”

“Shepard,” Miranda protested. “You can’t possibly mean to go after Archangel with just Zaeed watching your back.”

“I’m not getting my ass blown off because the mercs suspect something’s up. Neither of you look like you’d ever willingly set foot on this station. We need to blend in.” Miranda opened her mouth to protest again but Kady cut her off. “My ship. My rules. We can always leave you here if you don’t like how I do things.”

“The Illusive Man…”

“Needs me more than he needs you. Or he wouldn’t have bothered to bring me back. Get back. To the ship. I’m not going to tell you again.” 

Kady chose a table near the door, with her back to a wall, to watch for Zaeed’s arrival. The pounding of the music was starting to get to her and she kept her hand in close proximity to her pistol. She didn’t have enough words to properly formulate the thoughts about how much she hated this. The Smoking Bastard’s leash itched, and with the exception of Joker she had no one on that ship she could trust. It was lonely. She’d at least hoped that Kaiden, whatever he was doing with the Alliance now, would at least… she shut down that line of thinking. It didn’t matter what she’d hoped. This was her life now. 

“Hey, Boss.” Zaeed’s gravely voice broke her out of her memories. The grizzled old vet looked how she felt. The scars on her face still hadn’t healed, and she could only imagine what all was going on beneath the surface. The fact that she could still bleed, still hurt, had removed any doubts that perhaps she was more machine than human… but she figured the line was pretty blurred at this point. The temptation to drink until she couldn’t feel anything was tempting, provided her shiny new cybernetics would even let her get plastered. But it sounded like this Archangel was in a tough spot and she’d need every advantage to get this Archangel out of the mess they’d gotten themselves into.  
As they road in the shuttle towards the Kima District she wondered just what sort of person Archangel was. They’d need a good dose of suicidal crazy to think about going toe to toe with not just one merc band… but all of them. It was the kind of no fucks approach that she could have used on the last mission. Although the way things were likely to go, it wouldn’t be out of place on this one either. First, they had to make it out of this hell hole alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a loose idea of the direction this story is going to take. I'm thinking it will cover ME3 as well, and it's looking to be a bit dark. Although it'll have it's fluffy/happy moments... and a happy ending for sure. Because fuck Bioware and their endings.


	3. Chapter 3

The stench of the bar had nothing on whatever part of the station the Blue Suns driver had taken them. He dropped them off with a grunt and another Batarian merc stepped forward.

“’Bout time they sent me someone who looks like they can actually fight. They tell you what we’re up against?”

“Just tell us where to go,” Zaeed said with a scowl. Or, more of a scowl than normal. It was difficult to tell, really. Kady didn’t know the man at all, but something about him seemed more angry now than an hour ago when they’d first met. But as long as he did his job and they got Archangel, she really didn’t care.

“He’s holed up across the bridge. Superior position. The bridge is a killing ground.”

“No wonder the recruiter was vague,” Zaeed muttered.

“A small team is waiting to take him out. And he’s getting tired, making mistakes. We just need someone to draw his fire so they can move in.”

Kady crossed her arms, “And that’s where we come in?”

The batarian nodded. “You’ll be on the distraction team. Over the bridge, and keep him busy.”

“That’s goddamn suicide,” Zaeed said.

The batarian shrugged. “Pretty much. But you look like you can handle it.” He thumbed over his shoulder. “Third barricade, talk to Sergeant Cathka.”

Kady kept her hand on her pistol and motioned for Zaeed to move out.

“In’s gonna be easy. Out’s gonna be a bitch.”

“Well,” Kady sighed. “You’re not wrong. One problem at a time.”

Zaeed proved an excellent distraction once they made it up to where the mercs were waiting. A few of them seemed to know him, no real surprise there. He kept them talking while Kady slipped into the room with the mechs and quickly hacked their targeting protocols. It seemed no one really knew who this Archangel was. He’d shown up on Omega one day and started killing mercs and that was about the extent of their knowledge. He was good, too. As they waited for the signal a few of the freelancers got jumpy, peeked around boxes at the bridge only to take a bullet to the face. She and Zaeed were going to have to move fast once they were on the bridge, prove to the turian that they were friends, not foes, or they’d be just as likely to eat a bullet. She felt only the smallest twinge of guilt as she stuck the tool into the powerpacks on the back of Cathka’s armor, shorting out the electrical systems and killing him. If he managed to repair the gunship to 100% they were going to be in a lot more trouble than they already were.

The bridge was a bloodbath. Bodies were piled up where they fell, most of them nearest the barricades. But this push was big. There was a good chance they’d succeed. From the sounds of it Archangel had been holed up there, alone, for well over a day. He couldn’t keep it up for much longer, no one could. It was a smart plan by the mercs. Shame she was going to have to ruin it.

Kady sprinted to the first column and leaned around the stone pillar, lining up her sights on the salarian who’d managed to run out in front. Two quick shots and he fell to the ground. In the chaos no one realized the shots had come from behind. She leaned out again and felt a bullet graze her upper arm. She hissed, but kept her position, putting a bullet in the leg of a human. “Dammit, Archangel, I’m on your side!” she growled. There were a couple medigel packs in her belt, but he’d only winged her.  
Zaeed took out the engineer who was busy rigging the bomb while Kady dropped the one who’d made it up to the stairs. Between them and Archangel, they’d managed to take out most of the distraction team, but she knew there was at least one other wave getting ready. And surely someone had noticed their deception by now. She stepped over the body of the freelancer at the door and slammed her omnitool against the door. It slid open with a whoosh.

The room was dark. Smart. Any backlighting would have lit him up for target practice. He was crouched in a corner, sniper rifle balanced on the ledge in front of him.

“Archangel?”

He held up a hand, never taking his eye off the scope. His blue and black armor was bloody and scratched to hell. A full helmet covered his face. He took the shot and slowly hefted himself to his feet. One hand on his rifle kept him steady, while the other hand removed his helmet. “Shepard.” The voice was tired, beyond tired. And familiar. The turian moved and leaned up against one of the couches, his face finally in the light. “I thought you were dead.”

Kady winced at the accusation in his voice. It was far too reminiscent of Kaiden. “Garrus!” she tried to keep her voice light. “What are you doing here?!”

“Little target practice.” His mandibles twitched, “It’s good to see a friendly face.”

“You hit me pretty good there,” she said, stepping up and leaning against his foot.

“Concussive rounds only, no harm done. Didn’t want anyone getting suspicious til you were ready. If I wanted to do more than take your shields down, I’d have done it.” His voice carried a teasing tone under the exhaustion.

Kady put her hand on his leg, leaning in. Zaeed had moved off a bit, checking his gun and going over the piles of ammo in the far corner, giving them some privacy once it was obvious they knew each other, but she lowered her voice anyway. “Hey, you okay?”

“Killing mercs is hard work. Especially on my own.”

“So when did you start going by Archangel? If I’d known it was you I’d have gotten here even faster.”

He snorted. “It’s a name the locals gave me, for all my good deeds. I don’t mind it… But please, it’s just Garrus to you.”

“Alright, so what now?”

He heaved himself off the couch and walked towards the ledge. “The bridge works both ways. It’s saved my life, but if we try and get out that way, they’ll slaughter us.”

“Waiting seems stupid.”

Garrus nodded. “With the three of us… I say we wait for a crack, and make a break for it. It’s not a perfect plan, but… it’s a plan.” He lifted the gun and peered through the scope. “Looks like they know their infiltration team failed. Scouts. Eclipse… I think. Take a look.”

He handed his gun over and she zoomed in. “More than just scouts.” She put her finger on the trigger and let the crosshairs settle on the head of a mech. It fell to the ground with a static crack. “One less now.” Kady let herself lean against him, he returned the pressure. The shared relief at no long being along was palpable. “How’d you wind up trapped here anyway?”

“I’ll make you a deal. We get out of here, and I’ll tell you the whole story.” He sighed deeply. “We’d better get ready. I’ll stay here. I can do a lot of damage from this vantage point. And you… you can do what you do best. Just like old times, Shepard.”

It was even more of a bloodbath than the bridge had been. The only saving grace was that while their mutual hatred of “Archangel” had been enough to get them to team up it wasn’t enough to convince the mercs to fight together. They approached one group at a time, each time Kady, Garrus and Kaeed were able to fight them off, eliminating the most prominent mercenary organizations on Omega in the process. Kady staggered up the stairs, she’d run out of ammo and had to rely on biotics to seal the last door. She had left Zaeed with Garrus, the turian was far more tired than she was and she hadn’t come this far to let something happen to him. She stumbled into the room just in time to see Garm, the massive Krogan leader of the Bloodpack collapse in a heap. Zaeed fired a few more shots into him, just in case. With a Krogan’s regenerative ability it was better safe than sorry.

“Just the Blue Suns left, boss,” Zaeed said, popping his thermal clip and sliding a new one into place.

“Not gonna get a better chance to make a break for it,” she said, reloading her pistol and wincing at the headache. Apparently whatever implants Cerberus had put back in her reconstructed brain they weren’t fancy enough to keep the pain completely at bay. Not for the first time she wondered if humans really were suited for the biotic abilities. She’d never met anyone who could use them without a price. But it didn’t matter now.

“I agree,” said Garrus. “They’re probably the toughest group but, nothing we haven’t faced before.” He swung his rifle onto his shoulder. “Thanks… Shepard. I wouldn’t have made it out of here wit-”

“Archangel!” a mechanical voice shouted. The room exploded in light and glass. Kady rolled behind a couch, ignoring the shards that littered the floor. She coughed, peering through the smoke as it cleared. In the center of the floor where Garrus had been standing was a large black ring of ash. He was collapsed on the floor. Even from here she could see the blue blood pooling underneath him. “GARRUS!” she screamed, the words ripping from her throat. This was hell. Cerberus might have brought her back from the dead, but they’d dumped her straight into purgatory. Tears and smoke stung her eyes and she searched the room. Her damn pistol wasn’t going to do a thing against the gunship, and she wasn’t sure her biotics were any good either. A grenade launcher was shoved behind a first aid kit in the corner of the room.

“Zaeed!” she coughed, her throat was raw. “Draw their fire.” She waited til she heard the crack of his gun and then rolled out from her cover and threw herself at the heavy gun. Standing up, she hoisted the gun onto her shoulder and planted her feet. “Fuck all of you!” she screamed and fired the grenades in quick succession. The shockwave from the explosion knocked her on her ass, but she saw the gunship go down in flames. She crawled to the center of the room.

Her hands shook as she ran them over his armor. There was blood everywhere and she had no idea how to check for a pulse on a turian. “Garrus,” she whispered. “C’mon… don’t be dead. Fuck. Shit. Bitch… you can’t be dead okay?” She coughed to clear her throat, “Radio Joker, I want every medical person on that ship standing by.” She covered his hand with hers, leaning over him. “You have to live, okay? You just have to. Hold on.”


	4. Chapter 4

“You can’t leave me alone with these people,” Kady muttered under her breath as she paced the catwalk between the mess and the guns. The windows into the Med Bay were frosted over, but she could see the shadows moving inside. Hear the muffled orders. If it was anyone but Doctor Chakwas working on him Kady would have had Joker taking the Normandy straight for Palavan, Cerberus insignia be damned.

She was still dressed in most of her armor. She’d somehow kicked off the boots somewhere, and her gloves were probably still in that room in Omega. She didn’t care. 

Hours later she heard a familiar shuffling limp approaching her. The lights had been dimmed to simulate a regular Terran day/night cycle and the mess was long since abandoned. Through the frosted glass of the med bay shadows could still be seen, working to save Garrus’ life. Her armor lay scattered around the room and she sat against the food counter with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her wrist throbbed, but even if she knew it would kill her (it wouldn’t) she would not have interrupted them to take care of it. She ripped the bottom of her shirt and tied a new bandage around it, the pressure helping some, and kept it hidden in her sleeve. She heard the scrap of metal against metal as he dragged a chair over and sat down across from her, careful not to block the view of the med bay.

“Commander,” he said. “How’s he doing?”

She rested her chin on her knees, “They won’t tell me. They’re just working. Joker, what if they can’t…”

“Garrus is the toughest son of a bitch out there, present company excluded of course. He’ll make it.”

“I need him to make it.” She couldn’t put it into words. Couldn’t explain. She’d seen so many people die. People she cared about. Right in front of her. “I just… I need to know what’s going on. I know the other stuff is important. I know.” 

“You need a shower, and some medigel on that arm. I’ll sit here, let you know, if anything.”

Kady felt her throat close with unshed tears as she pulled herself to her feet. “Thanks,” she whispered hoarsely.

She was pulling on a fresh shirt when the comms in her room chimed. It was EDI. “Commander Shepard. Doctor Chakwas would like to see you in the med bay.” 

Cursing as her long hair got caught in the top she slammed her good fist against the panel in the elevator. “C’mon, c’mon!” Before the doors had even fully opened she slipped between them and sprinted down the hall. The med bay doors were open and she slowed as she approached. “He’s not…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“We’ve done what we could, Commander. We corrected as best we could with surgery and cybernetics but…”

A weak voice broke in from behind her. “Apparently I’m almost as tough to kill as you are.”

Kady hurried to the bed side and looked down at her friend, tears welling up in her eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you too.”

“Well, you did it first.” He laughed weakly. “I figured, how do you humans say it? turnabout is fair play.”

“That’s just mean.” She smiled anyways. “I’m headed back onto Omega. I need to get Doctor Mordin Solus.”

“Not without me you’re not.” Garrus struggled to sit up. The nurse stepped forward and tried to hold him down, but Garrus pushed him back. “I’m fine.”

Kady opened her mouth to protest, but saw the fierce glint in her friend’s eye. If the positions were reversed she’d have been furious if anyone tried to stop her. “Get his armor,” she ordered an ensign who was hovering at the door.

Doctor Chakwas sighed. “There’s no use in telling you that what you really need is bed for a week, is there Garrus?” Her tone was long-suffering, but held more than a hint of affection. “I want to see you the moment you get back, do you understand?” Her eyes drifted over to Kady for a moment, “Both of you.”

——

“YOU don’t have a grenade launcher.” The bulkhead doors sealed shut, cutting off the rest of the argument. Kady felt bad. A couple different choices, minor ones really, and she could have been that woman - terrified that everything she owned in the world would be gone. But the best thing she could do to help would be to straighten out the district.

“A quarantine zone, for a plague that kills turians. Why don’t we ever go anywhere nice?”

“I’m sure Doctor Chakwas would be happy to have you back in the med bay.”

“You need me, Shepard. I’m not going to let a cough keep me back.”

Kady hated how relieved she was that Garrus had come along. Wished she had the integrity to send him back. She couldn’t. He was right, she needed him here. The ship’s counselor, a bubbly redhead named Kelly Chambers, had tried talking to her about how she felt. But there were no manuals for how to handle everyone you’ve ever met thinking you were dead. Missing two years of your life. And then coming back not to loved ones. Not to friends, or family - but to strangers. Garrus was the thread back to the life she’d had before she died. It wasn’t the same with Joker, or Dr. Chakwas, although she was more grateful than she could express that they’d chosen to leave the Alliance and serve on the Normandy for her. Garrus had fought with her, watched her back. Saved her life up close and personal. She knew it was a disservice to everything Joker and Chakwas had done for her to feel that way. But it was what it was.

“Just once, I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, 'Sure, let's go. Right now. No strings attached.’” Kady sighed and checked the thermal clip on her pistol. The professor had been relatively easy to find, but distributing the cure was an entirely different matter.

“Oh come on, Shepard. You’d be bored to death.”

Kady turned, wide eyed, and studied Garrus’ face. His delivery had been deadpan, and his expression was neutral, but as she looked at him his mouth twitched under the bandages and she rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe you just said that. You went there. You actually went. There.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes again.

The fight in the ventilation room was anything but boring. She was panting by the time they were finished. Whatever Cerberus had done to bring her back, it hadn’t been able to save her muscles. Or all of her biotics. She hoped it was just temporary and not some horrible side effect. They picked up the professor and he talked the entire way through the station back to the Normandy. She left him in the CIC and went straight to her cabin.

She knew she should see the doctor, at this point she was just being needlessly stubborn, but something kept her back. Perhaps it was the knowledge that for two years she’d been laid out on a table. Having strangers poking and prodding at her. Studying her. Seeing her at what was probably her most vulnerable. Could you be more vulnerable than dead? Regardless, the wrist would heal fine and she could keep it hidden until it did. It was swollen, bright greens and purples, and ached badly. She was trying to tie off the wrap, awkwardly, when the door chimed.

“Let me help you with that,” Garrus’ voice was quiet but firm. She appreciated that he helped her wrap it with gentle, competent hands, and never once suggested she go to the Med Bay. 

When he finished they collapsed onto the couch, shoulders pressed together - a reminder to each of them they weren’t alone any more.

“So,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence. “How bad is it? They wouldn’t give me a mirror.”

Kady looked up at the bandages that covered half of the Turian’s face and smirked. “Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Just throw some face paint on there and nobody will notice.”

His mandible twitched as he laughed, and then he pressed a hand against the bandages with a wince. “Ouch, don’t make me laugh. Dammit. My face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scars attractive… mind you most of those women are Krogan…” His face turned serious and he reached over, pushing a wayward strand of curly black hair out of her face and revealing the scars on her cheek. “Frankly, I’m more worried about you,” he said softly. “Cerberus, Shepard… those experiments were sick.”

“That’s why I need you, Garrus,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “This is hell, I need someone I can trust at my side.”

“You realize, this plan has me walking through hell beside you.” He chuckled and let the uninjured side of his face rest against the top of her head. “Just like old times.”


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke up the next morning Kady found herself curled up in the crook of Garrus’ arm, the pair of them having fallen asleep on her couch the night before. The slight twinge of guilt she felt was easily pushed aside with the realization it was the best night sleep she’d had since she was dead. She managed to slip away, make coffee, and settle back down on the far edge of the couch with a data pad before Garrus woke.

“My apologies, Shepard. I didn’t mean… that is. I should have. I’ve got a cot… in the Main Battery.”

“Garrus,” Kady cut off his rambling. “It’s okay. I’d offer you some coffee…”

To her surprise he reached out and took the mug from her hands. He lifted it to his face and inhaled deeply. Taking in her confused look he explained. “I got used to the smell on the SR-1. Been a long time. Whatever it is they drink on Omega… it isn’t this.” He took another deep breath and then handed it back to her.

“I’m sorry we don’t have a lot of dextro food on board,” she said apologetically. “It’s a Cerberus ship so…”

“Humans only,” he finished.

She nodded, “We managed to pick up some basics on Omega, but we’ll have to go to the Citadel to get anything good.”

“You don’t have to do that on my account, Shepard.”

“I want to. You deserve it. I dragged you into hell with me, remember?”

Garrus chuckled. “I remember. You already exposed me to a Turian plague and it hasn’t even been a day.”

Kady winced, “I’m sor-”

He shook his head. “I wouldn’t have let you go in there without me. Now, I think I’m going to go see what I can do with the forward batteries.”

— —

If possible, the prison station Purgatory was even worse than Omega. It was relatively cleaner, and didn’t have quite the same stench, but there was something about it that crawled under Kady’s skin and itched.

“You’re sure we need a crazy biotic on this team, Shepard?” Garrus looked at her sideways and and somehow he managed to smirk as he dove for cover behind a desk. “Another one, I mean.”

She always did appreciate his ability to quip under pressure. Turns out, the sadistic bastard that ran this slave ship masquerading as a prison decided that she was a worthy prize. Now they had what equated to an entire military between them and the Normandy, and she was determined to still complete their mission.

“Oh come on, where’s your sense of adventure Vakarian?” She leaned out around the corner and flung a singularity at the approaching mech dogs.

The ship was a moral black hole. These were some of the worst criminals in the galaxy, and yet the treatment they’d witnessed on their short walk to the ambush was enough to turn her stomach. It made it a little easier to shoot anything that moved - prisoner and guard - as they fought their way through the failing station. Alarms and screams, even the occasional manic laugh, spiraled around them as they fought. The life support, along with everything else on the station, was failing fast. But when Kady heard the Warden’s voice, his actual voice - not through a speaker - she sprinted into the room and took cover behind a stack of crates.

“You were going to make me so much money!” Kuril shouted at her from behind the forcefield while she picked off the guards that were surrounding him. “I was going to retire. What about it, Turian, hand her over and I’ll give you a generous cut!”

Garrus’ response was to place a perfectly aimed shot in the power core of the last shield generator that protected the warden.

“Salarian? I’ll make it worth your while. Fund some special research projects.”

“Not enough money in the galaxy,” Mordin said and activated his omni-tool, sending a blast of super-cooled subatomic particles at the final guard, leaving the warden completely alone.

Despite being three on one, the fight was still brutal. Kady and her team were exhausted, and low on clips, and the constant use of her biotics was starting to take its toll. But working together they cut through Kuril’s armor. Kady checked her heat clip, one more round. If she aimed it just right… it should finish him. She waited for the right moment, stood, took careful aim, and watched as he slumped to the ground before she could fire a shot.

“Dammit!” she cussed, letting her arm fall to her side.

“The Warden is dead. We survived. Is that not considered an optimal, if very unlikely, outcome for this situation, Commander Shepard?” Mordin asked, carefully applying medi-gel to a gash on his leg.

She ripped open her own packet of medi-gel with her teeth and started spreading it awkwardly on her shoulder where the bastard’s gun had taken a good chunk of her armor. “I wanted to kill him myself.”

“Sorry, Shepard,” Garrus limped towards her, leaning his sniper rifle against the crates as he took the medi-gel packet from her and used his long fingers to rub it into the burn on her shoulder. “He tried to make you a slave… I take that personally.”

“You take that personally? It was me he was trying to capture!”

“You’re my best friend,” he said as if that answered everything.

Once the cooling effects of the medi-gel started to work their magic, they gathered up all the thermal clips they could find and went looking for Jack.

— —

“Okay, Shepard. Glad you’re back. But… keep an eye on that last one. We can only hold so much crazy.”

Kady snorted. “Everything okay up here?” She’d been worried some of the prisoners, or guards, would try and take the ship. But it seemed they’d managed to hold off any possible stowaways.

“It was fine, until the THING started questioning my every move. It won’t let anything slide.”

“You were deliberately falsifying maintenance reports, Mr. Moreau.”

Joker spun his chair to look at the blue ball that was the ship’s AI, EDI. “Not falsifying. Tweaking. I always round up on task times. Makes us look good when we come in under.”

“Harmless self promotion, EDI can let it go.” Kady turned and headed towards the elevator, desperate to get some sleep.

“Haha. Go pout. I win.”

She rolled her eyes at Joker’s final jab. Even that hurt. She needed to get to her cabin and collapse.

“Commander, there’s a new message for you at your private terminal,” Kelly informed her as she waited for the elevator. Kady nodded, too exhausted to speak with one more person today. Still, she pulled up the message at her desk as she sipped her chamomile tea and waited for the latest round of medi-gel to take affect so she could sleep.

> Title: (Untitled)  
> From: (Error, Invalid Sender Name)  
> Hey Shepherd [sic] heard I have you to thank you for getting out of Purgatory (sent a ship to round me up, but they didn't weapons-check good enough)! I'm gonna carve your name instead of mine into my next victim as thanks, got anyone you need dead (haha)? You did take a shot at me though on my way out so I have to kill you, you know how it goes. Dad taught me that you let anybody hurt you, they get ideas so you make sure to send a message, not like I'm sending now, though! See you around, the people who live here are coming back and it's showtime! Look around for your name, I'll make sure you find it before I find you! Billy

“Or… I could not sleep…” she said out loud to the empty cabin. Setting down the mug of tea before her shaking hand spilled it everywhere she reread the message. “Well.. That’s… that’s just lovely.” A chill shot down her spine as she wondered just how many of the criminals from Purgatory had managed to escape.

Unsurprisingly, she did not manage to sleep that night, or the one after.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been three days of stims instead of sleep when the call from Admiral Hackett came through. If she’d been a little more functional, a little more clear-headed, she would have told him that the solo mission could go fuck itself. But the potential for research that would prove the Reaper threat was imminent was too great a lure. She managed to arrange things so that the Normandy was passing through the Viper Nebula during the simulated night portion of the day/night cycle the ship ran on. Getting the shuttle was the easy part. The last easy part.

As she slumped against the control panel listening to the cool VI voice tell her that the communication systems were damaged Kady felt a wave of relief. She’d done it. Stopped the Reapers from coming through the Alpha Relay. Could it be over now? Her left arm and right leg were completely useless and she looked out at the flames which were claiming various parts of the facility with a resigned calm. She wondered if the explosion when the asteroid hit the relay would be less painful than the puncture in her suit when the Normandy SR-1 had exploded.

It was infinitely MORE painful. Kady felt as if her entire body was on fire. When she managed to open her eyes all she could see were bright lights and medical equipment. Her stomach twisted as the memories of waking up in the Cerberus lab flooded back. She tried to sit up but felt the pressure of restraints on her wrists, slamming her forward to a more present memory of being held captive on Arcturus Station. Even the action of drawing breath set her body ablaze with pain. She screamed.

Someone who looked a lot like Admiral Hackett was standing over her bed looking stern. Dr. Chakwas was angrily gesturing to a data pad and waving her arms to make her point. Kady tried to speak but her mouth wouldn’t open. Neither of them noticed her eyes were open.

Another flash, this time it was Joker, gripping the end of her bed and talking to Miranda. Just as he caught her eye everything faded into black.

Pain, darkness and voices… mostly swearing… made up the whole of her consciousness. Time slipped by, unmarked, as she drifted around her body. Finally Kady slid back into herself and found it relatively free of pain. The restraints were gone from her wrists, but she was unable to sit up. The lights in the med bay were dimmed, but she could see someone stirring beside her in the faint glow.

“Garrus?” she croaked, her throat was raw. “Am I dead?”

The large Turian was curled into a chair that had been shoved as close as physically possible to her bed. His fringe was almost flat against his skull, a sign of stress or irritation. She wondered which it was.

“No. But not for lack of trying.”

Irritation.

“What…”

Garrus let out a stream of sound, mostly chirps and harmonics. Kady didn’t have to speak Turian to catch the profanity. His mandibles twitched and he drew in a breath. “You went on a mission. Alone. And I… we almost lost you.”

“How?”

“Your team is smarter than you are. You had a headstart, seeing as we were sleeping. When you _left us_.” There was pained note to his words that reminded her sharply of Kaiden on Horizon, but before she could dwell on it he was moving on. “Mordin tracked your omni-tool to Arcturus Station, when we got in close we could monitor the damage. Bit like a ‘Shepard is here’ sign.” He laughed a little and Kady felt the tightness around her chest ease slightly at the sound. “Zaeed and I dropped in near the Comm tower and fought our way to you.” His voice cracked, “I thought, I thought I was bringing your body back, Kady.”

“Thank you.” He never used her given name. It wasn’t how things worked in the Turian Hierarchy. She was the commander of the ship. Not Kady… Shepard. Against her will a tear welled up and slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

Mindful of his talons, Garrus reached over and wiped it away. “Why did you do it?”

Kady took a shuddering breath. “Hackett… said it would cause a diplomatic incident, or something. If anyone else got involved it would get political. Said it had to be me. Just me.”

Garrus’ claw was still on her cheek and he gently turned her to face him. “That,” he said seriously. “Is not how this works. I was going to die alone in that sniper’s nest. You were dead. No one was listening about the Reapers. All I wanted to do was take as many of those merc bastards down with me as I possibly could before... Then, there you were in my scope. And everything changed. You don’t do things alone any more. Neither of us do.”

She lifted her hand and covered his, smiling weakly at him. “Thank you,” she murmured before she drifted back to sleep.

— —

They were docked in the Citadel for a week while Kady recovered. Dr. Chakwas had given her a stern, non-nonsense, lecture about the limits of medi-gel and treating herself when they had a perfectly functioning med bay right on board. Then Hackett had returned and read her the riot act.

He seemed to accept her version of events but hadn’t pulled any punches. “You may have done what you had to do. But when Earth calls you better be there, with your dress blues on, ready to take the hit.”

“Fucking perfect,” she said to the now empty room.

— —

Finally she was cleared to return to her cabin on the condition that she take it easy for one more week.

Garrus ‘just happened’ to be sitting in the mess, finishing a cup of dextro-coffee, when Kady was released. He offered to walk with her. She knew it was intentional, the way he hovered, ready to support her at a moment’s notice, and she was grateful. For all her cybernetics and augmentations, the stay in the med-bay had set her muscles back. He graciously pretended not to notice when she leaned against him in the elevator.

Then, mercifully, she was back in her own space. He sat on the couch while she stood between his knees, drinking the coffee the steward had brought in. It felt so good to stand, even if she was shaky and he’d insisted she stand in front of him ‘just in case’.

“Something’s bothering you.” Kady looked down at her friend, his fringe noticeably flat.

He let out a long breath, “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“It’s going to bother me until you tell me.”

“Alright. At least sit down.”

“Must be serious,” she teased. She took a seat beside him and he turned to face her.

“I saw Kaiden, on the Citadel. He was coming out of Councilor Anderson’s office and I flagged him down. I know… back on the other Normandy. You two… I thought he would want to join us.”

“He doesn’t.”

“I know. He told me, about Horizon.”

“He’s angry with me. I _**died**_ , and _he’s_ angry. He left me, Garrus.” The words were wrenched out of her mouth before she could stop them. And with them a deep, wracking, sob. Her grief and pain crashed into her and she couldn’t make it stop. For one second, Garrus was frozen in uncertainty, and then his arms were around her. She held onto his carapace with every last ounce of strength she possessed and finally felt the emotions of everything that had happened to her.

The fight against Sovereign, DYING, being called up before the Alliance brass for doing her fucking job and saving all their asses AGAIN… When would it stop? When was she going to be allowed to stop. And when will people stop blaming her for the things they needed her to do? The thoughts pounded at her brain as she sobbed. She was barely conscious of the feeling of Garrus’ claws lightly running down her back. But she held onto that connection with every ounce of strength she had left. The physical connection to someone who wasn’t asking anything from her was the only thing keeping her tethered.


	7. Chapter 7

“Are you sure this is such a great idea, Shepard? Bringing a Turian AND a Salarian to meet the Krogan?” Garrus kept his voice low as they sat side by side in the shuttle. His thigh was pressed into her knee, she could feel the pressure on her armor. Ever since Arcturus station she noticed he would physically reassure himself of her presence. Nothing inappropriate, just like this… legs pressed together, or a hand on her shoulder as they spoke with someone… casual touches to keep them connected. She wasn’t sure if he needed it too, or he simply sensed how much she needed it. Either way, she was grateful.

“Well, I have to bring Mordin. It’s his friend we’re after.” She pushed her knee into him, acknowledging the touch. “And I’m not leaving you behind.”

Kady knew the point of recruiting such a large and diverse team was so that no one teammate, other than her of course, had to go on every mission. A chance for them to recover and unwind. And so she could pick a squad whose abilities complimented her own. The problem was, she didn’t know or trust most of them. She didn’t trust that genetically modified Cerberus cheerleader as far as a Volus could throw her, and there was something just so smarmy about Jacob… she kept him at arm’s length. Jack was… not someone she would have chosen for her team. The other biotic had not once accompanied them on a mission, and Kady wasn’t entirely sure what she got up to in her hidey hole down on the Engineering Deck. It was probably better that way. She genuinely liked Mordin and even the Justicar, Samara, was growing on her… but she rarely needed a second biotic on a mission. Kady knew her preference for the non-human members of her team ruffled feathers, but she had run out of fucks to give. Not that she ever cared what Cerberus thought of her.

She’d never been to a planet as dead as Tuchunka. Dr. Chakwas had fitted their suits with redundant radiation detectors and told them in no uncertain terms that if they went off, they needed to evac immediately. The entire planet was a dust bowl. Rubble and rocks, as far as the eye could see. The meeting with Wrex had been… a little tense. He’d never entirely forgiven her for Virmire. Garrus was right, bringing him and Mordin as a poignant reminder of the genophage was maybe not the wisest move, but she’d managed to smooth things over and Wrex was able to point them to his Chief Scout who lent them a truck to drive out to the hospital where Clan Weyrloc was holed up. Once they found out she planned to cause their sworn enemy a fair share of pain the other Krogan of Clan Urdnot were a little more accommodating.

Mordin was hacking the override for the door while she and Garrus collected any stray thermal clips they could find. Given her current situation with the Alliance, and the Council, over her actions on Arcturus Station restocking the Normandy wasn’t as easy as it once was. She’d found herself leaning more and more on her biotics, saving the clips for Garrus. Yet another reason Mordin and Samara were preferred members of their team… neither relied overmuch on actual firepower. But it was taking its toll and she was grateful when they’d collected enough heat sinks to reload her Carnifex. Walking into a hospital… even an abandoned one… she wanted all the protection she could get.

The smell assaulted her the moment the doors slid open and she put the back of her hand to her mouth as she tried not to wretch. It smelled like death. Garrus was there beside her, hand on her shoulder and his fringe flat against his head.

Down the first flight of stairs they found a human body. Mordin bent to study it, commenting on the restraint marks on the wrists and ankles. Kady avoided getting a close look, but even she couldn’t miss the lesions and tumors that covered every exposed inch of skin. After assuring them the human was not contagious Mordin stood. He kept speaking, something about the genetic diversity of humans but Kady wasn’t listening. She swallowed back the bile and headed deeper into the hospital.

“Is it your turn for a military pep talk?” Garrus stepped up beside her as they paused for some water and to scavenge for clips.

“I really don’t like hospitals,” she said with a shudder.

Garrus stepped closer, letting her lean on him. “I know. They’re not fun to fight through.”

“What is fun to fight through?”

“Gardens, electronic shops, antique stores… but only if they’re classy.”

Kady laughed and shook her head. Time to move on. It only got worse the deeper they went. She wished she could have been surprised when they found Maelon, not bound and tortured, but free and working. Kady left the choice of his fate up to Mordin and was not surprised when the Salarian shot his former protegé.

— —

Her nightmares were growing worse. Fueled anew by the horrors they saw in the Krogan hospital. Kady woke in a cold sweat, her throat raw from screaming. She shivered, pulling the blanket up to her chest. Focusing on her breath, she managed to slow her heart rate some. It had been a week since they’d returned from Tuchunka and she hadn’t slept more than a handful of hours. Thankfully she hadn’t been needed. Jacob had an idea for the ship’s armor and after some discussion with EDI had determined it was ready to install. They put into a Cerberus base and Kady had told everyone to take some time off.

“Commander Shepard, if I may?” EDI’s voice crackled over the intercom.

“You have not had a restful night sleep in many days.”

“You think I haven’t noticed?” Kady growled.

“Studies have shown that the presence of another person, particularly one whom you can trust, has been effective in relieving nightmares caused by past trauma.”

“Thank you, EDI.”

“You’re welcome, Shepard.”

Kady yanked a pillow and held it over her face. After several long moments she threw it across the room. She let out a frustrated sigh and her eyes fell on the fish tank. A school of bright orange fish flitted between the plants. Garrus had surprised her with them after she was released from the med bay. She pushed off the blanket, swinging her legs off the bed. Without bothering to pull on anything she padded through the ship in her tank top and shorts. 

It was all but deserted. A few crewmen manned consoles but they paid her no mind. She stood in front of the doors to the gun bay and swore. Twice she walked to the end of the gangway and then back to the door. Finally she lifted a hand and touched it to the door. It opened with a soft chirp. Garrus was on his feet in an instant.

“Shepard, what happened?” He reached for his armor and then paused, looking at her in confusion.

“Fuck, this is stupid, I’m sorry for waking you, Garrus,” Kady passed a hand over her face to hide her blush and turned to leave. Garrus put out a hand and caught her wrist, tugging her towards him gently.

“Kady, are you alright?”

“No,” she admitted softly, staring at her feet. “Nightmares. I… I don’t want to sleep alone.”

Garrus pulled her to him, she rested her face against the cool plates of his chest and felt him sigh deeply. “Me either.”

Kady snuggled against him on the cot. He’d curled his larger body protectively around her. After a moment’s hesitation, she reached for his hand and pulled his arm over her body.

No one said anything to her face when Garrus started sleeping in the captain’s cabin. However Kady woke up one morning to find a photo of Kaiden next to her computer. She had her suspicions on who had placed it there, and why. If they were every confirmed, someone was going out of an airlock… without a suit. Using her biotics she picked it up and flung it into the trash recycler. She doubted whoever it was would be brave enough to say something to her face. As it was, her mood was better than it had been in months. She was sleeping straight through the night and woke feeling rested and clear-headed… Not much else mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I stole the term ko'di from Wheel of Time. Although the concept of warriors seeking a void is found in many different martial arts traditions.


End file.
